I get it, you feel like you’re bumbling your way through your twenties and you’re feeling lost.
I do, I get it.
Why? Because I’ve been there. Bloody hell, let’s be honest, I’m STILL there! I’m twenty-six and I have days (most days!) where I feel completely lost.
See the thing is, society puts a lot of pressure on us. By this age, some people expect that this is when you’ll have your life together, right?
From the second you start choosing your A Levels, it seems like you’re supposed to have it all figured out. You feel like you have to chose the right course, to be able to get good grades, which will help you, when the time comes, to apply for courses at university. What if you just don’t know?! It can leave you feeling pretty lost. But I’m here to tell you…
You will be okay.
I remember being at school thinking and having conversations about when I was 26/27 I would be settled down. Probably have my own house. I’d be considering children by then.
I’m here to tell you, it’s still possible, but highly unlikely.
And I’m alright about it.
For the older generation, the one that keeps asking me ‘So no love life yet then?’ No, Linda. No love life. Simply a life, that I’m still trying to work out. Each and every day.
And I’m alright about it.
So many people have this perception that you should have everything figured out. You should know what you want to do for the rest of your life, and you should be settled by a certain age. Why? Says who?
To this day, I’m twenty-six, two-months, three-weeks and three-days old; I have no clue what I want to do now or when I’m older. I’m making it up as I go along! Don’t believe me? Read My Life Update if you don’t believe me.
And I’m alright about it.
Society says you go to school, then you go to University. You graduate and you find a good paying job. You then spend the next 40-odd years working your way ‘up’ the corporate ladder.
If you’re feeling lost right now, I promise you, it’s totally normal! Everyone feels like it at some point in their lives. I know 50-year-olds that aren’t particularly happy and want to change but don’t know what to do. They don’t have it figured out either!
So here are five things to remember whenever you’re feeling lost – especially in your twenties;
(This list is just a good reminder for myself as well…)
1. University is not for everyone.
Back when I was coming to the end of sixth-form, it felt like every man and their dog was telling you to go to university. Teachers, parents, even peers. I know that someday it may not feel like it, but this is 100% YOUR LIFE. If you want to go to Uni; If the career path you want to pursue requires you to go to Uni (Doctor etc.) then great! But if you can’t think of anything worse. If the thought of being amongst that many people gives you anxiety. Perhaps you feel bored with education and want to go travelling. Do that. So many people so what other people tell them to do and as a result end up being unhappy. It’s your life.
2. Nothing lasts forever.
Things change. People change. And you can and will change over time too. It’s important that you remember this about the positive things that happen in life and the negative. What I mean by that… Friends will come and go. It’s life. People drift apart, their interests change, maybe they move away. On the flip side, if something bad happens, let’s say you cause some controversy on social media and at the time you instantly regret it because it feels like everyone’s attacking you or whatever… It will pass. It doesn’t last forever. And the thing everyone’s talking about today will be old news in a couple of days.
3. ‘Stuff’ won’t make you happy.
It’s so easy to get caught up in buying the latest iPhone or Yeezy’s but at this age, I personally don’t think it’s worth it. Things break, get overly worn etc. and you’ll feel gutted when you’ve spent so much money on something that now means you can’t afford to go for a drink with your mates. Instead, invest in experiences. Whether it’s a weekend break to a foreign city, bungee jumping. Whatever it is. Do that now. It’ll give you great stories to tell later on in life!
4. Stop comparing yourself.
In 2019, guys and girls in their twenties have grown up in a different era. One that has moved from, going to ‘knock for your mate’ to go out and play. To comparing your recent holiday to that girl you’ve never met who lives in London and shares her life on Instagram. You compare your wardrobe, your partner, your friends, where you go out to eat and even how successful you are.
Let me tell you, success is subjective.
Some people think success is being a millionaire and owning a private jet. However, for others, success is having a stable job in which they can go to work for 8 hours a day and return home to look after their family.
What’s important is… what is success to you?
5. Stop caring about what everyone else thinks and says.
So much easier said than done. I know. I’m still working on this one myself! But the second you stop and realise that it doesn’t matter what that girl who called you a bitch a couple of years ago, thinks. Why does she matter? Is she going to change your life in some way? Stop you from getting the job you want or travelling to that country you want to go to? Or stop you from starting that YouTube channel you’ve always wanted to start? I bloody hope not. Even if she does laugh, who cares? You’re probably not even going to remember her in 5 years.
I could literally ramble on for days it would seem. But there are just 5 things that I feel like, even I, have to remind myself.
Some days will be harder than others.
It’s super important to remember that, even though Instagram may seem like everyone has their life figured out, many of those people are also feeling lost. Try to remember to enjoy life, smile as often as you can and be grateful for the things you do have, rather than focusing on the things you don’t have.
Find what you enjoy doing and run with it.
I was visiting one of my friends in Cumbria when I felt the need to write a post like this. That’s where all the photos are from, Derwent Water, The Lake District to be exact. I love visiting up there. I never thought I’d be one to love mountains and small towns. However, when I visit Emily, it takes me away from the hustle and bustle of busy life. I can almost feel myself recharging.
What would you add to the list? Whether you’re feeling lost right now or you’ve been there, done that and got the t-shirt. What would you tell your younger self?
Until next time,
If you’re feeling more lost and you need some support, please do not hesitate to reach out for help. You’re not alone in this. Here are some useful resources and contact details should you feel you need them:
- Website: www.mind.org.uk
- Infoline: 0300 123 3393
- Young Minds
- Website: www.youngminds.org.uk
- Textline: Text YM to 85258
- Website: www.samaritans.org
- Call: 116 123